Of ex' and why's

Hey guys! Before you start reading this, I'd like you to open this link in a new tab and listen to this music on the background.

So my ex-girlfriend chatted me today. Wow, this has started to become some sort of an online diary, you think? One day, sometime in the future, I'm going to read this post and think: "Wow, how embarrassing was I?"

Maybe.

Or maybe not?

I feel like sharing these things with you guys has been great for me. Many people say that we give up too much of our selves in social media, showing what we're supposed to hide on the internet, and that one day these things will come back to haunt us.

Yet, it does feel nice to look back and see how much we've grown, right?

So, oh yeah, my ex-girlfriend contacted me through social media. She asked me the question "Was I a cold girlfriend?"

Imagine that, somebody who I hated because of a love that was unrequited after a few months of passion, asking that question. Keyword here is "hated" -- which is in the past-tense. I hated her for a whole year and never got over how she treated me. After we broke up, I tried to forget her, yet I ended up wanting her and needing her after nearly a year--when I saw her again and then hated her again when she broke my heart the second time -- because she didn't want to stick with me.

I was blind to her emotions, how badly I treated her, how I lied to her, and how I betrayed her -- when she was also in love with me. I had sex with someone else while I had a mutual relationship with her. -- technically that's cheating. Yet she still accepted me.

She wasn't without faults though. I dare not say them because they might be too biased, and you know, you might see her in a bad light. Better you hate the narrator than the character, right? The point is, those faults also caused a lot of pain, and suffering on my part. The point is, we both suffered.

But life is strange. With all the things that she made me suffer, she also ended up the catalyst for my growth. I grew as a person, I became stronger as a man. I was getting better at falling in love, and I was getting better as a person. I learned new lessons and received new experiences because of that. I learned not to be too suffocating to people, and not to be too possessive, and I also learned not to be too toxic to other people. That last bit was important, because that lesson really helped me a lot in getting great connections with people, especially in my job.

So to answer her question, yes she was a cold girlfriend, but she was a good ex, a great person who taught me things the hard way.

I hope when you read this Jewelrey, you'll find peace in your heart. You were a very cold ex, but you were a great teacher--


-- and a good friend.